I have had some weird happenings with people I don’t know and some I don’t know very well. It always is refreshing that strangers often treat me better than everyone else. My OB was having a bad day. I asked her why she wasn’t joking as usual. She said she had some tough news and a busy day. She said I brightened her day and thanked me for being so positive. I think I must have a doppelgänger out there. Seriously. It was really nice to make someone smile. As for the other it was just a bunch of bickering siblings. I don’t think any of them where being honest, but sometimes our own truth makes us blind to the “real” truth. Maybe that’s my problem too. It’s so much easier when people don’t know me. They actually listen and I don’t feel so in the way. I just know that God wants me to share His love. Have to keep doing that and stop listening to the ugly thoughts in my head.
I am trying to stop the people pleasing. Doing for others is wonderful when it’s healthy, but I now recognize there’s a line I shouldn’t cross. Problem is that I don’t always see the line. I asked for something today and yes, I felt guilty. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty. Ug! This weekend I saw my limit come and go so I did walk away from some responsibilities I was unable to do. It felt good to be strong enough to do that and two days later I am a wimp again. Regardless, it’s on me to be honest not on my friends and family to guess. So trying and sometimes failing. I am thankful that God is still working. I realized that although it’s small, I have changed. All that to say, don’t give up on people too quickly.
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