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Showing posts from February, 2022

Hidden Pain

 Repressed memories are so difficult to deal with. You can’t quite grasp them yet they still manage to cause pain. When something triggers me, I first get that sick to my stomach feeling. Then the stuff I want to forget comes hovering in. I don’t want to just shove it under until. I want it to go for good. I have forgiven, but with stuff like this, you forgive, and then do it all again. It’s not over. I don’t like to talk about the really messy stuff cause it’s like living it all over again. Even the teasing and bullying of the past, I can’t really remember. I blocked out much of that too. I know that it happened, but I can’t remember details. Looking back at it all it seems like it couldn’t of been that bad. But in reality I think I just don’t remember. What triggered me today? Someone else talking about abuse and it wasn’t severe but there was emotional manipulation and she was silenced. I was silenced. I was told I couldn’t talk about emotional abuse. I was told I couldn’t talk ...