Bipolar, but still Christian : Just Another Challege

 Hey, I decided to delete that last post, but thank you for those that suffered reading it. I feel much better now. It wasn’t anything serious. I am really hoping to figure out my inflammation. So far I just know ;it happens anytime I eat or take anything my body doesn’t like. The hard part is figuring out what that is. So far I can only tolerate some supplements. It’s getting dark early and it’s getting rough. Many of my friends who struggle with seasonal affective disorder as I do, are already struggling to get up in the morning. So if you don’t have that struggle, check on your friends. If you do, check on them. It’s almost Christmas so emotions are loose. Anxiety and depression are rampant. Yes, I believe God can give us victory. I also believe He asks us to be His instruments sometimes. James 5:16b comes to mind,” The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

 I have been overwhelmed for a while now. I try not to be swept up into anxiety, but it creeps up on me. That leads to mania in my quest to avoid the anxiety which makes everything worse. I stay up too late and find myself staring into space fighting sleep. Eventually I start getting confused in the daytime. This has happened to me over and over so it’s nothing new. This time I truly had trouble seeing the sign in the dark and drove the wrong direction, but didn’t recognize it was wrong until I drove a couple exits. Sometimes I will be driving along and forget where I am going. It’s like my mind is tired of working. I do believe this has helped me understand dementia not just have compassion for it. When your mind just goes blank , and there’s nothing there. Yes, I know what that feels like. I know I talk to much when I am manic. It’s like being outside your own body and watching the car crash, but not being able to stop it. I am okay. Just tired and stressed. Too much , too much, huge