Bipolar, but still Christian : Just Another Challege

For any newbies reading my blog and reminder to the old ones. Why am I blogging about myself? This is basically a public journal. I am holding myself accountable in a sense by airing so much publicly. I put the warnings about the content because there are many people who are so uncomfortable around the topic of mental illness that I know they would not enjoy reading my blog. I am careful to be sensitive to that when I am around them, however, I am not apologizing for having bipolar disorder and discussing it opening. We all have parts of us that are broken in one form or anther. While we can't go around complaining every moment of the day, it isn't something to try to hide from. I can say, "I'm fine" and most of the time that is true, but that doesn't make me no longer bipolar. I also find that there really isn't a much good Christian encouragement for people with mental illness. I would like to encourage others that you can hold on to God through emotiona

Every day little things around us either bring us pleasure or discontent. When it comes to being married, it can depend on the hour or the day. I love my husband to pieces, but those little things can test my patience. It bugs him that I open wrappers and forget to throw them away. It bugs me that he blows his nose really loud right next to the bed when I am sleeping. I say those because they are so ridiculous. I have as many irritating qualities as he does. A few reasons to be glad I married him. He still wakes me up with a kiss every morning. He makes me laugh. He rubs my head when I have a headache. He comes home to me every night. The day he is perfect; I will be too! We have had our rocky times, but with God's help they brought us closer together. I didn't really know what love was when I got married. Does anyone? I just looooved him(:. I didn't know about choosing to love someone by my actions. I wash underwear for him because his love language is service. Not that I

Sometimes moments of my life become nothing, but white noise. I suppose for some people that would be a comforting sound, but I never did enjoy the sound. I am not talking about your fan humming; I mean loud monotonous noise like an old television or buzzing flies. The kind of sound that almost makes your skin crawl. That is what it feels like when I am having an anxiety attack in a room full of people. Their voices all sound distant and seem to buzz. Other times the white noise isn't so easy to identify. Like when youn hear a dripping water, but you cannot find the source. Picture a room full of people. If you are engaged in the conversation, you are enjoying their company. All of a sudden you hear everyone talking at once, but their voices seem very far away. All those voices begin to blend and sound like buzzing flies. Okay so that's the crowd explanation. Picture that same sensation inside your head. When my mind begins to race, it is as if there are flies stuck up in