Bipolar, but still Christian : Just Another Challege

This is going to sound strange, but I think loosing my car, my job hours, and being forced back into housewifery was to prepare me. Because I have been home most days for the last several weeks, I have been cleaning the house, finishing unfinished projects, and stocking the staples. I can’t say we have EVERYTHING we need, but we are doing okay. I was trying to find the purpose in the isolation already. Now I do believe it IS GOD. He knows me. He knows I hate change. He knows that being home all the time is hard for me. I choose to see the last several months as my adjustment period. God is good. I know all this crisis is not about me. Each of us will have to adjust in our own way. I am just so thankful God knew I needed extra time to prepare. Stay safe everyone.

Growing up in old fashioned church, you are taught not to think of yourself. Self image is a made up excuse of the world to be selfish so the old church says. Is it really that simple? Cause it seems to me if a person is torn apart verbally by all the people around them that the long term emotional effect will be very damaging. And then go to church and be reminded how worthless you are there too. That philosophy is missing some pieces. God wouldn’t have sacrificed Jesus for a useless pile of humans. No, He loved us. He loved us first not once we were cleansed. Doesn’t that say we have value in His eyes? Doesn’t that say we matter? I think it does and the Bible has verses that support that. Turning off the voices of ugliness can take years. We shouldn’t be those voices for people too. Because God showed His love to us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8) I recently heard someone broken by the sins of her grandchild. She thought that pain was some kind of punishme

I haven’t written in a while so here goes. I am experiencing life like a drippy faucet. I get up and wait for it to end and start all over again. I knew today was one of those days I should have gone outside, but there’s no place to go. And the house is still a mess and I really do want it to be getting increasingly better. There’s no one to say hey I am feeling especially negative today. Cause let’s be honest; no one wants to hear that. The fact is that my disease means feeling bad for no good reason. Getting up anyway and waiting for the wave to pass. So for my friends who like me can’t be honest about their struggles, it’s okay. We’re human and sometimes just don’t feel good. I did accomplish something today. I thought I am disappointed I didn’t do more and yes I wish someone could say it’s enough. Because I am never going to be perfect this side of eternity. Okay that’s the lot. Going to take a hot shower and try to leave the house.