Back a few years ago I was told something that shook me pretty hard. I couldn’t understand how I was hurting people when that’s something I don’t ever want to do. After some serious searching, I found something. Once upon a time, I was teased and bullied a lot. I learned the only way to survive was to agree with everything they said and make a huge joke out of it. Not only did that have me internalizing those insults, but it always taught me to be extremely sarcastic. Sarcasm became my defense weapon. I realized recently that I never put it away. It’s like the war ended and I still had all my armor on. The sad part is that when you’re dealing with repressed memories and trauma, these unhealthy defenses turn on automatically. I absolutely thank God for loving me through it all. People are not always so understanding especially if they have been hurt. Now when I find myself facing the judgment, my anxiety kicks in and I battle panic attacks. Cause I am still a work in progress. I was praying the other day not knowing what to say and I heard, “Jesus is everything.” There’s a song I used to know that was running through my head. I can’t fix anyone least of all myself, but I am certainly glad Jesus still loves me. I have to take one day at a time. There’s no other way to do this. We all have learned behaviors from years, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be changed. If it’s wrong, God can show us and change it. Look how far Peter came. We’re all works in progress.
Have you ever settled for just fine? Have you ever found yourself in pain every day and been told this is just normal for your age? After just not feeling good for a long time, I realized I was gaining weight again rapidly. I found this webinar about low thyroid and weight loss. I thought what’s the harm? I knew after that first session that I had found a solution. People have been telling me for years how they gave up sugar and felt amazing. I thought I just couldn’t do it. Now years later even before I started to watch I knew I have to give up sugar. Giving up gluten didn’t really help me because so much of the gluten free foods are loaded with sugar. Anyway, if you see me eating a chocolate bar, send help 🤣. I really want to wake up in the morning ready to start a day. Like that feeling on Christmas morning when you just can’t wait to get out of bed. What would it be like to feel like that every day? My pain is less some days than others. Exercise helps. I am thankful my God l...
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