Bipolar, but still Christian : Just Another Challege

 Sometimes my life feels like an afterthought. I spend so much time behaving the way I think I am expected to. Listening to other people’s expectations or my imaginations of what they are that I feel disconnected. I am disappointed I wasn’t able to do better. I am tired. I am tired so much of the time these days. Apparently, being subdued is preferable to being too excited. Honestly I used to fall somewhere in the middle before my last episode. All that to say, I just need to vent. Does it ever get easier? I love the Lord honestly. I love serving Him. It’s everything else. I will try to find something to do. I like listening to the birds. They are so happy. I need to work on my book and that is a little stressful actually. I just need to finish something. 

Do you ever find it hard to relax? I am taking a forced rest today after two nights of muscle spasms. My back is not too thrilled with me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Sometimes I find myself carrying too much and I have to put it all down. Because I am an empath, it is easy to pick up too much of other people’s emotions. I am learning. Jesus says, “Come unto me, all ye …that are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”Matthew 11:28. I am laying it at His feet.