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Trying to Be Brave

 Sometimes my life feels like an afterthought. I spend so much time behaving the way I think I am expected to. Listening to other people’s expectations or my imaginations of what they are that I feel disconnected. I am disappointed I wasn’t able to do better. I am tired. I am tired so much of the time these days. Apparently, being subdued is preferable to being too excited. Honestly I used to fall somewhere in the middle before my last episode. All that to say, I just need to vent. Does it ever get easier? I love the Lord honestly. I love serving Him. It’s everything else. I will try to find something to do. I like listening to the birds. They are so happy. I need to work on my book and that is a little stressful actually. I just need to finish something. 

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