On the off chance there are some out there still reading this, I just want to be sure my last post was not offensive. I have very little experience with cancer and I don't pretend to be able to even imagine how difficult that would be for someone or their loved ones. Someone close to me does have it now, but she lives far away so I'm not living in the reality of it everyday. I know it will one day take her, but for now I'm trying not to dwell on it. She means the world to me and she has been so strong. In the beginning she was not, but when she is down she keeps to herself(don't we all). She doesn't want her loved ones to see her that way. As horrific as cancer is, She is thankful for it. I am as well because I know it has brought much needed healing to her family.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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