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A Good Dose of Reality

There I was holding on my own little pity fest and I was shot with a dose of reality. Not once, but twice. In church I got that familiar tugging that spoke right to my heart. I heard the words, "Don't lose hope." Hope is a pretty big deal. Hope keeps us going from one day to the next. It's funny cause I already logically said all this stuff in my mind, but it hadn't totally reached my heart.

If the first reminder wasn't enough to get my attention, the second one was. Let's just say I heard what I could sound like if I continue to feel sorry for me. It isn't pretty. It is almost like nails on a chalkboard. I don't want to be that!

Honestly, it has just been an emotional time with a lot of things hitting my family at once. I want to fix everyone, but I can't. I know they are hurting right now and it breaks my heart. My pity party was thinking cancer would be easier.( Not really easier, but more accepted. ) People don't like to hear me talk about broken family troubles. It makes them uncomfortable or they think it's inappropriate. I don't honestly know what they are thinking just how their response or lack of makes me feel. Why is it OK to pray for cancer to heal and not pray for parents to stop fighting? I'm waiting for these more together folks to explain it to me. Well, I guess the trouble is that I want: No, need to talk about it. I don't want to put it out there on the web(:. Not specifics anyway.

All that aside, I got the comfort I needed and decided to get busy doing what God has for me to do. I can pray for my family. I can't make them better. I also have once again distanced myself from all the drama.

Comments

  1. Mrs_ScotsmanFebruary 17, 2009 at 7:54 PM

    I understand what you are saying. Sometime I thinking that it would be easier to have diabetes than Bipolar.

    I'm also having a hard time with how to talk about my parents and their divorce.

    ReplyDelete

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