I don't know about the rest of you, but the dark days of winter make me feel sleepy and down. Now that January is here the sun is beginning to peak in the windows earlier and the worse is over. I'm starting to feel less hopeless. For those of you who don't have this problem I must emphasize the word "feel." If I let me feelings decide what I do and don't do, on a regular basis we'd all be in trouble. Let's face it. None of us can trust our feelings really. I went to see my in-laws for Christmas and my sister-in-law's Sunday School class had something about setting goals for our new year. I couldn't seem to set any personal goals. It was easy to set family goals, financial goals, and spiritual goals. Here is the thing. For me when I separate myself from the spiritual, I am so deep in the "Me, Me, Me, Whoa," nonsense that I can't really accomplish anything. I realized that I have to have God's guidance to show me just what he wants me to do. Don't misunderstand me (sister-in-law if you're reading this)... it was a good exercise. We are all different. I struggle with insecurities where someone else may struggle with pride, yet the result of those sins is the same...lack of faith. As I watch my children accomplish wonderful things for the first time, I realize how much I miss when I am caught up in myself. Well my kids are up and about now and my peace and quiet has ended so this is the end of this post since I can no longer concentrate.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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