If normal people have spring fever, than I must have spring mania. Our family is dealing with multiple uncertainties right now. Although I am trying to trust God, right now the anxiety is just about choking me. I can't sleep when I'm supposed to and I have to nap during the day to keep functional. If I didn't I would start to get dazed and confused. Anyway, the train is moving and I don't know how to slow it down. I know I can't control my circumstances no matter what they are, but how do I get my head to stop spinning. It's funny the other day I prayed and took a deep breath and the Lord immediately brought to my mind the verse, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee." That's the trouble thou now isn't it. If my mind was truely stayed on Him I wouldn't be spinning...Would I? Well I'm going to go to bed and if I can sleep... SLEEP
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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