Have you ever found yourself listening to someone speak and suddenly a part of your brain escapes into a world of all its own. You take what that person actually said and begin to analyze what it surely must have meant. Meanwhile the rest of your brain is attempting to pay attention to what the person talking to you is continuing to say. Alright, I admit this sounds ridiculous, but welcome to my brain(:. That isn't to say this is always the case, but far to often it is. I have to consentrate on listening and ask the person to repeat stuff if my mind begins to wander. Sometimes I have no trouble at all listening. On a bad day, it's like a tornado went off inside my head. The good news I've been finding is that "normal" people seem to struggle with this too. They just don't to the same extent.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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