Honestly, I choose to write sometimes even on a bad day because it usually helps me sort things out and it shows how far from perfect I am. We all have bad days when we aren't thinking as clearly as we'd like. I'm just more vocal about it than most. The truth is that although my childhood was no picnic, it could have been far worse. The truth is that although my brothers are often aloof it isn't because they don't care, but because they express it differently than I do. Not everyone can be as on the surface as I tend to be. It gets me in all kinds of trouble. I decided that our lives would be extremely boring if we were all exactly alike. I think God has used other people to fill in the gaps that my family may have left. At the end of the day, everything on this earth is only temporary. If I spent far less time worrying about things I can't change and far more time concentrating on the things God has for me to do, what would my life look like then?
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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