Bipolar, but still Christian : Just Another Challege

Well, called the psychiatrist on Tuesday and he said to stop taking the lamactal. I am now only taking one medication. Of course that is till I see him again and he puts me on something else. I have been a little off this last couple weeks since going off the depacote. More mood swings, and anxiety. I had to increase my calm down medications since I am not on anything else. I am on vacation which doesn't help matters. I don't like change, large crowds, or being out of my routine. Thus vacations,although fun, are not relaxing. I am doing better today just need to try to sleep a decent nights sleep. I know I should be quoting Bible verses about trusting God, but this is my honest place here. I felt very defeated yesterday. Frustrating to realize that some things will never change no matter what you do. Yes, God is in control and still on the throne. Yes, he for some unknown reason put me in this world with this set of parents. Just don't want to be doomed to repeat their mist...

Well, here I go. I am in desperate need of a good vent session. Generally those are not pleasant for most humans to witness so if you are NOT me you may want to sit this one out(: I started taking lamactal on Thursday after stopping depacote under doctors care. The first day it made me dizzy for several hours and nauseous for a couple. I was told to try taking it with food. I think I waited too long to eat that first day and that is what caused the side effect. The other problems I seem to be having are headaches every morning which wake me up. It is my sinuses so the netti pot helps that to go away, but then I have trouble getting back to sleep. I have a burning in pain in my neck where my spine is that started only hours after taking it and has not gone away. Last night (day five), I started to get muscle aches in my shoulders and back. This morning I am very stiff and sore. I also noticed that vertigo problem returning. I have had it twice in the last two days. That is when I feel l...