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That's Just the Way it Gets

Well, called the psychiatrist on Tuesday and he said to stop taking the lamactal. I am now only taking one medication. Of course that is till I see him again and he puts me on something else. I have been a little off this last couple weeks since going off the depacote. More mood swings, and anxiety. I had to increase my calm down medications since I am not on anything else. I am on vacation which doesn't help matters. I don't like change, large crowds, or being out of my routine. Thus vacations,although fun, are not relaxing. I am doing better today just need to try to sleep a decent nights sleep. I know I should be quoting Bible verses about trusting God, but this is my honest place here. I felt very defeated yesterday. Frustrating to realize that some things will never change no matter what you do. Yes, God is in control and still on the throne. Yes, he for some unknown reason put me in this world with this set of parents. Just don't want to be doomed to repeat their mistakes with my own children. Just don't want to be doomed to become like them. Just need a huge helping of God's grace and strength knowing that I can't handle any of this myself. That really is the only reason I can imagine. He did it so I would need him. So I would have to depend on Him.

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