Skip to main content

Ho Ho...Happy Mom's Day!

Okay, I just couldn't write what everyone else does. My creativity isn't at it's ultimate today so that will have to do. I started off this mother's day with one of those ridiculous reminders of all the grief I must have caused my own mother. Doomed to repeat my mistakes my children had barricaded their room with dirty clothes last night. I used to do the same thing I am sad to confess. We managed to fix that issue before bed last night. This morning, church day, we had several calamities. My youngest has a cold and we had to determine if he was fit to be in public or not. My oldest waited till this morning to figure out he only had one pair of clean paints which needed to be repaired. I almost had them fixed when I realized he wasn't wearing underwear. I had washed underwear, but he put them in his brothers drawer. I lost it a bit. Quite a bit in fact. Why he thought we would let him leave the house to go to church without underwear is beyond me, but this is life with boys. If it's not no clean underwear(they can locate...it's hiding somewhere); it's something else. Mud on pants we thought were clean or can't find shoes that match. Then their is no matching socks. Yes, I wash my children's clothes. I then separate them and give them to them to put away. That is where the calamities start I guess, but I think they should put away their own no matter how crazy it makes me. I am foolishly determined to teach these boys to care for themselves so they can launch out on their own eventually. I was reminding someone of that I Corinthians 10:13 verse today. Why is it easier to tell others than to listen ourselves? I was overwhelmed a bit yesterday thinking about these little things I can't change; I can't control. I know I have no control over anything anyway, but do I really except that? If God knows what's best, then doesn't he know that I am having trouble thinking clearly. He knows all about my personal struggle. And the thing that kept hitting me yesterday; The thing I kept praying was, "Please give me the strength to overcome or the strength to endure." I don't get to decide what God's will is. I have been so content lately that I think the devil just needed a hole to blow up. I may be weak and sinful, but God is certainly powerful enough to defeat the enemy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Little Shower

 I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...

I Threw Out the Moon

  My son made a paper mâché replica of the moon when he was younger. Being the consistent pack rat that I am it was still here in our living room. I am trying to clean everything up and believe or not, throw out the stuff we don’t need. Do you find it hard to throw away stuff you don’t need, remove things you shouldn’t have, or give up things you need to? It is different for everyone, but we can probably all relate to that in some small way. If you’re wondering how I got here you’d have to go way back. Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends. It was my toys and me. My imagination gave them personalities. Could it be that I don’t need that stuff anymore? Could it be that I have real live people who are right here and worth much more! It won’t be easy, but I am willing to do the work. I will trash the unwanted books if I have to. I don’t expect people to understand, but maybe hold back the judgment. Cause like I said before, everyone struggles with something. Maybe it’s giving...

Thicker Skin?

 I have come to believe that I don’t have thick skin for a reason. I am a Caregiver at heart. I am thankful though that I finally have a few people in my life that are willing to love me through my imperfections. There are some people who maybe haven’t forgiven me because they are still holding onto their own past. I don’t want to do that anymore. That means I have to forgive myself too. So for that person who still can’t forgive me, I am sorry I hurt you. Period. I didn’t know then what I was doing wrong, but I do now. You can get in line with the other people who won’t forgive me. That one over there, hurt me by cutting me out of her life. I didn’t react well. And now we are cut out of each other’s lives. That other one didn’t understand me, and also cut me out. I didn’t actually do anything to her other than be my big present self. Again, learning from it. That one over there… I judged her believing I knew better. You see why I call it a graveyard and it really stings sometimes....