Okay, I just couldn't write what everyone else does. My creativity isn't at it's ultimate today so that will have to do. I started off this mother's day with one of those ridiculous reminders of all the grief I must have caused my own mother. Doomed to repeat my mistakes my children had barricaded their room with dirty clothes last night. I used to do the same thing I am sad to confess. We managed to fix that issue before bed last night. This morning, church day, we had several calamities. My youngest has a cold and we had to determine if he was fit to be in public or not. My oldest waited till this morning to figure out he only had one pair of clean paints which needed to be repaired. I almost had them fixed when I realized he wasn't wearing underwear. I had washed underwear, but he put them in his brothers drawer. I lost it a bit. Quite a bit in fact. Why he thought we would let him leave the house to go to church without underwear is beyond me, but this is life with boys. If it's not no clean underwear(they can locate...it's hiding somewhere); it's something else. Mud on pants we thought were clean or can't find shoes that match. Then their is no matching socks. Yes, I wash my children's clothes. I then separate them and give them to them to put away. That is where the calamities start I guess, but I think they should put away their own no matter how crazy it makes me. I am foolishly determined to teach these boys to care for themselves so they can launch out on their own eventually.
I was reminding someone of that I Corinthians 10:13 verse today. Why is it easier to tell others than to listen ourselves? I was overwhelmed a bit yesterday thinking about these little things I can't change; I can't control. I know I have no control over anything anyway, but do I really except that? If God knows what's best, then doesn't he know that I am having trouble thinking clearly. He knows all about my personal struggle. And the thing that kept hitting me yesterday; The thing I kept praying was, "Please give me the strength to overcome or the strength to endure." I don't get to decide what God's will is. I have been so content lately that I think the devil just needed a hole to blow up. I may be weak and sinful, but God is certainly powerful enough to defeat the enemy.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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