I watched a sad movie tonight. A really sad one, and had what we women call a "good cry." Isn't funny that we need a fake story to give us a reason to cry, yet when we have every reason to cry we hold back the tears. Well, I guess I can't say we...I do anyway. Maybe it goes back to when I was young. Back then I cried way too much. At everything! That didn't add to my popularity and then more teasing which would produce more tears. That was early childhood grant it, but I think I remember(:. I figured out that I had better suck it up and NOT cry so much. So I didn't. I sucked, sucked, sucked, in a whole bunch of stuff after that. Stand tall at school and let it out at home. Of course after all that bottling up not everything can find it's way back out. Maybe that's why a movie that forces you to cry is so cleansing. Now grant it, I am not seven years old anymore, or five, or nine for that matter. I am not a kid; I am not being teased at school; and don't really have this huge wealth of things to be sad about. Being grown up is just complicated. Sometimes, we just have backed up emotions for no apparent reason. It's nice to have a safe place to dump them. Some of us were given extra sensitive emotions. I am still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess neither. It just is. So for me, sometimes, I need a "good cry." Other times it is a good laugh(:.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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