I watched a sad movie tonight. A really sad one, and had what we women call a "good cry." Isn't funny that we need a fake story to give us a reason to cry, yet when we have every reason to cry we hold back the tears. Well, I guess I can't say we...I do anyway. Maybe it goes back to when I was young. Back then I cried way too much. At everything! That didn't add to my popularity and then more teasing which would produce more tears. That was early childhood grant it, but I think I remember(:. I figured out that I had better suck it up and NOT cry so much. So I didn't. I sucked, sucked, sucked, in a whole bunch of stuff after that. Stand tall at school and let it out at home. Of course after all that bottling up not everything can find it's way back out. Maybe that's why a movie that forces you to cry is so cleansing. Now grant it, I am not seven years old anymore, or five, or nine for that matter. I am not a kid; I am not being teased at school; and don't really have this huge wealth of things to be sad about. Being grown up is just complicated. Sometimes, we just have backed up emotions for no apparent reason. It's nice to have a safe place to dump them. Some of us were given extra sensitive emotions. I am still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess neither. It just is. So for me, sometimes, I need a "good cry." Other times it is a good laugh(:.
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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