Today was better than yesterday. And yesterday was a bit better than the day before that so progress. I am on a higher medication dose so I slept what seemed like forever today. Either catching up from lack of sleep or sleepier because of the meds. I think it is both. I am definitely calming down. I am hoping the anxiety will be less intense tomorrow because I have to go out. Not just go out, but see a specialist. Yippie for me. Anyway, it should be fine if I can stay focused. Unfortunately the medication doesn't do much to help that. It slows my thoughts down, but it doesn't clear up fogginess. Sometimes it creates it. One step at a time.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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