Today was better than yesterday. And yesterday was a bit better than the day before that so progress. I am on a higher medication dose so I slept what seemed like forever today. Either catching up from lack of sleep or sleepier because of the meds. I think it is both. I am definitely calming down. I am hoping the anxiety will be less intense tomorrow because I have to go out. Not just go out, but see a specialist. Yippie for me. Anyway, it should be fine if I can stay focused. Unfortunately the medication doesn't do much to help that. It slows my thoughts down, but it doesn't clear up fogginess. Sometimes it creates it. One step at a time.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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