I guess everyday has it's challenges for each of us. I am constantly having to remind myself NOT to go back to my unhealthy people pleasing ways and to concentrate on doing what God wants me to. I always clearly know what that is however. I was in a situation last night where I was dealing with an (in lack of a better word) ignorant Christian lady. I really think she wanted to understand what "bipolar" means to me; but she wanted to try to fix me in the process(:. She will never truly understand, but maybe I helped her a little. I just hope I didn't injure myself in the process. I have struggled to except what IS that I am bipolar. I have come to terms with that and even learned to be thankful for God's purpose which I don't really understand. I don't want to go backwards to please some person. It's just not worth it. I believe I Cor 10:13, but it is talking about God helping us to endure trial not poof it's gone. "God is my refuge and strength..." I guess I will have to figure this person in my life must be a new challenge to go through.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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