I get it(:, I was forgetting how good I have it. I was reading I Corinthians 10 today. How much trouble I get into when I compare myself to others. It's true, I have emotional/psychological issues, but they doesn't have to be my undoing. I have a friend who is struggling with excepting a mental health disorder. Her reluctance to accept it is prolonging her aggravated symptoms. My fellow bipolar buddies can relate to that. We all go through a period of denial. I wonder if cancer patients do that? As if pretending there is nothing wrong with you, will some how heal you. Sorry, it doesn't work. Believe me I tried it too. I imaging everyone can relate to that for some reason. I have a gift though; two in fact. My two children are my gifts. I wanted to be healthy enough to raise them. What if I didn't have them? Would I have cared about getting well then? What if you thought you had no one...would you care enough to want to be well? Notice, I said thought because I truly believe many people have people who care about them, but just don't realize it because they aren't seeing things clearly. The hope though that helps me most in the deepest, darkest times is not my children. The hope is the love of Jesus Christ and His promises. "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners; Christ died for us."
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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