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One Moment at a Time

If you asked me, I would tell you that when things are good I take things one day at a time. When things are bad, I take things one moment at a time. We had a rough weekend. Traveled to a family funeral last week. It was a beautiful service and we were glad to be there. Sometimes there is just too much love for me too handle...hee hee. I get stressed when there are too many people and no escape. I had that experience Friday followed by having to take my husband to the emergency room. From then on I was in auto-pilot mode. We got his eye checked out and treated. Came home Sunday evening to a cold house. The pilot light had gone out on the furnace and we couldn't get it to re-light. We had to use space heaters till the next afternoon when the furnace man fixed it. I now have the spinning head syn-drum that comes from all this excitement. I took a whole doze of one of my little white pills without guilt last night or I would have been up half the night. I still have so much to do and I am trying to muster up the strength to care. I know I can't complain about this because it would sound so very selfish. I really don't know why I am such a nervous person except that I always have been. I suppose it all started with my childhood. Not knowing when the danger would begin. Never feeling truly safe. I can only guess that now..I am safe, but my body just isn't capable of calming down correctly. I trusted God then in the dark places; in the terror. I trust Him now in the light. I can only hope that some day when I see Jesus; He will take my fears away for good. If you're reading this, I just needed to vent my feelings. I know I am blessed. I know I am loved.

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