For any newbies reading my blog and reminder to the old ones. Why am I blogging about myself? This is basically a public journal. I am holding myself accountable in a sense by airing so much publicly. I put the warnings about the content because there are many people who are so uncomfortable around the topic of mental illness that I know they would not enjoy reading my blog. I am careful to be sensitive to that when I am around them, however, I am not apologizing for having bipolar disorder and discussing it opening. We all have parts of us that are broken in one form or anther. While we can't go around complaining every moment of the day, it isn't something to try to hide from. I can say, "I'm fine" and most of the time that is true, but that doesn't make me no longer bipolar.
I also find that there really isn't a much good Christian encouragement for people with mental illness. I would like to encourage others that you can hold on to God through emotional struggles just as you would through physical ones.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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