It has been a good Friday, for Good Friday. I saw my therapist yesterday and she recommended I take a break from all the "work" for a bit so that I am able to calm my mind down better. We played hookey from housework and school and went to the movies this afternoon. Then I had to go shopping, but it turned out to be a good thing because the stores near the movie place are very close together. I got home by five very spent. I have all my ingredients, but I have yet to clean the kitchen or bake anything. I want to make pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins, and chocolate chip pie. I might do a second kind of muffins if I have enough ingredients. I don't want my hubby to have to cook Sunday...way too busy. Muffins can be done ahead and we can just have scrambled eggs. I need to sit down and come up with a plan for tomorrow so that everything gets done, but I still have feeling in my toes. That's a joke of course, but my feet are sore today. We are having new friends over for Sunday dinner. I hope they can just take us as we are because I am a terrible housekeeper on my BEST day. My sister-in-laws solution is to throw everything away. I try, but still not so good at getting rid of junk. I told the kids it is time for another yard sale. There is so much stuff we just need to get rid of. If we can sell it, even for pennies, they might be more willing to part with their treasures. My youngest has the hardest time because like his Mommy there is sentimental attachments in everything. I saved a napkin from my cousins wedding for about five years! I finally threw it away. When I was five, I used to collect tags off the floor in department stores...that was really just because I was so bored. My mother and her best friend would look for hours at everything in the store. We would be stuck in the same place for what seemed like forever. Mom would start to move and then dead stop to look at something else. Funniest part of that is that now I do the same thing to my boys. "Mom, NO, don't stop...can we pleesse leave!" Not sure what made me think of that, but it's a funny story. I surveyed my childhood, my kids will too. I do not shop as slow as my mother even now. I like to look, but if I can't find something I like, it is time to leave. I tend to get overwhelmed if I don't stick to a plan. Decide what I want to look for and leave if they don't have it. If I happen to stumple accross and unexpected gem...Hip, Hip, Hurray, but sticking to a plan helps avoid stress and overspending. Night, Night and happy shoppping. Wait what on earth does THAT have to do with Easter? Sorry about that, We are thankful to serve a risen Saviour, Who is alive! Such hope lies in knowing He is there.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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