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Ups and Downs

We all have our ups and downs, but when you are bipolar they tend to be more up than normal and more down then healthy. I've been more manic lately then depressed. I can't sleep as well as I should. Sometimes that makes me moody, but more frequently it just makes it difficult to concentrate. I am stressed and it's effecting my ability to accomplish things well. I have a very strong desire to hide out for a while. The more I push myself to keep going, the harder is seems to be to do things. My husband has told me several times in the last few days that I was talking too fast. The scatter in my head is out of the bag. I have a lot I need to do before I can slow down however, I am trying to cut up whatever I can. If I confide my concern, most people will think I am overacting or complaining and fail to understand my fear. I scard myself the other day when I started babbling. I just couldn't get my words to come out. I need to go to bed and try to sleep now. I hope this will get better. Life is a heavy weight right now. I don't know how to balance stuff with rest anymore. I need to be active not to be depressed, but too much active isn't healthy for me either. I really could use a new brain. This is my safe place where I can vent without judgement. I don't feel like anyone understands. As for my relationship with God. I know He is there and I am trying to be faithful. I am going to have to take a nudget of truth at a time and remember the verses I know by heart till my head clears.

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