Have you ever heard anyone ask you to take off your kid gloves? Someone else told me to develop Rhino skin. Seems to me we come up with a lot of interesting ways to tell people to toughen up. I have come to the conclusion that if I DID toughen up as much as I likely need to in order to "take" what others dish out all the time, I would no longer be totally me. My ability to feel for others comes from being able to hurt for them. Being more sensitive makes me more vulnerable to being hurt, but always able to have deeper compassion. In short, we can't have it both ways. My wonderful tough friends are great leaders. I am a boo-boo kisser(:. Not that I can fix all the boo-boos of the world. I am just learning to figure out where my strengths and weaknesses are and try to be less self critical. It is so easy to list out all of my short comings and become consumed by the lack of improvement. I wish I could encourage myself as easily as I can someone else. Words can be so sweet or so bitter. They can offer medicine or offer poison. Once the poison is in there; it is difficult to remove. I can only hope I haven't poisoned anyone I love, but sadly I might have):.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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