I went to my monthly Mom's Support group meeting. Tonight's topic was our teens and dating. We talked about what we would want our children to look for in a mate. Hearing some of the women talk about what they expect to avoid made me think. I am glad God knows better than we do. I certainly feel like we have teach our children to find someone with like values. We all come from different backgrounds. That doesn't have to mean we cannot join together with someone in agreement for what that life together will be. It probably would have been easier for my husband to have picked a woman with less baggage. He probably would have had things much easier. I do wonder who he would be though. I think God used us to improve each other's lives. We are both better people because of that. I wouldn't be who I am without my baggage plain and simple. It might be burdensome at times, but it has given me compassion and deeper faith in God. I hope God will bring into my children's lives a mate that will see past the stuff that cannot be changed and believe the best of each other. I don't always act as encouraging as I should. Sadly in the day to day I get caught up in the every day frustrations and forget to be thankful. Thankful for the little things that my spouse does everyday to make my life better. Frankly, I am so very thankful to have a best friend who loves me through and through for who I am. I want THAT for my children too. Not perfection on some piece of paper.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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