I turned 40 this week. I really dreaded this one. I was concerned I would be so very alone on a big birthday and feel really depressed. Weird thing is I was not sad. I was pretty much alone, but it was okay this year. I think not expecting anything worked way better than if I had expected and no one remembered. I was remembered by my family and that's all there is for me. I have a handful of friends, but we don't celebrate each other's birthdays. I am still missing that here. My close friend that I would do things like that with is not here. I do have a new friend and we are working on it slowly. She is not from here either(the state I am now in). That might be part of the reason that we are reaching out to each other. Other nice people are friendly, but do not really need us for anything. That has been my issue these last few months. It is hard to not be needed by anyone. Right now I need to go to sleep. My room smells yucky and I couldn't sleep. Now Hubby is awake and that spells trouble. Oh Well, live to rant another day.
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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