After the sun comes out, things look brighter. Now we have longer days with plenty of sunlight. I definitely feel better when the sun is shinning. All that winter darkness tends to bring me down internally. Truth be told, I've come to except that their is stuff that I can deal with, but never overcome. I can simply take one day at a time, one step at a time. Like a person grieving a lost loveone. They get to a point where they only get sad when a thought comes to mind reminding them that person is no longer there. Yet when their is a special day like their birthday or a holiday, then it is just a sad day all day. It comes in waves for them. Bad memories can be like that too. Waves that come and go sometimes unexpectedly.One trys to avoid the harsh reminders. Sometimes, they seem to be there, all around. Other times way down stuffed out of the way. For a sad grieving one, I do realize there is joy amist sadness. You remember them and smile, even laugh. Yet you ache to hug them one more time. To see their smiling face, to hear their voice. I understand how that feels too. It is hard. You never stop loving them. You never forgot. You just move on. To those of you with bad memories like me, make more good ones. Fill your life with some joy. For those of you grieving. The sun will be shining again tomorrow.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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