What was it like for the disciples of Jesus and those closest to Him as he died on the cross. Watching helplessly as He was beaten, mocked, and tortured. Think of how in His pain, Jesus looked down from the cross asking John to lead away Mary who had been His earthly mother. She probably could not bare to watch Him die. Have you had to watch someone you love suffer pain, illness, helpless to do anything to lessen their pain? Perhaps a parent, grandparent, child, or dear friend. You could do nothing to help them and watching them suffer was almost too hard. Jesus understands that pain and He had the victory over it when He arose from the grave. "O death where is thy sting? O grave, where is they victory?...But thanks be to God which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." Watching someone I love struggle beyond my understanding or ablility to help, I am comforted by these words.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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