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Long Lives the Clickedy Clack Clack

What discusts me today is adults acting like children. This is not necessarily that uncommon a practice. I hated school. Oh so many reasons not the least of them being the way I was treated by my peers. It was one thing to be ignored and isolated as a kid, but far different to deal with it as a grown up. It just irritates me. I don't want to be friends with people who act like that, but I have a hard time just ignoring it. I want to get in their face and fight for the girl I was. The girl who could not fight for herself. So there is the part of me that says, "you are an adult now; they are not worth it." Then the other part wants to get right in their face and tell them to, "Knock it off!" "You are no better than anyone else." Here's the thing though. They probably do not think that at all, nor are they doing this conscientiously. I just get so frustrated with it. For once it would be nice to be chosen. I know it is my lack of normal social skills and all that. That is why I enjoy working with the children in places. They are actually happy to see me. I know how pitiful that sounds but if I do not vent it here bad stuff will follow. I need to say it to take away the power of the words. Oh and I have heard some pretty ridiculous things out of the mouths of people who were never bullied. If it never happened to you then you don't get it. Not now; not ever. That just is. People calling you fat and ugly because they can and you know the only way to get them to stop is to just go along with it. Fighting it makes it fun for them. Now people say something nice and I just feel weird. I still cannot take complements. Now I can at least fake it and smile. That is all I have right now. Need time to recharge before I can be less worked up and more understanding.

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