It happened. I opporating on not enough sleep said exactly what I was thinking to complete strangers. I guess you could say I popped. Funny thing was that they were grown women acting like children. They were embarished and ashamed of their bad behavior. I being me was also embarished and just burst into tears. All said and done I am not sure it was a good thing, but I am so not going to worry about anymore. I finally got a nap today and I just want to relax and do something creative. I don't enjoy being harsh with people even when they deserve it. Looking forward to tomorrow and hanging out with familiar friends. They do not usually get me either, but at least with them I am loved. I am not sure where from here. I am not depressed just worn out. More sleep and better clarity of mind will be very helpful. I also need to do things I love like play with toddlers and sing. Maybe go hiking in the trees. Beauty of nature has a calming remidy all its own. Like the babbles of brook waters or the tweets of birds in the morning, God's creation sings its own sweet song.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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