I find the last couple months of winter the most difficult each year. I struggle with depression mostly during this time. I feel Iike I am just in quicksand sinking deeper and deeper away from everything around me. Everyone and everything is starting to irritate me as I continue to feel bad with no end in site. Tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere. Too worn out to care anymore. I think I am really angery about not being understood. Being underestimated and passed over. So yes, I ask the question...Why God am I here? What is it you want me here for? Have to sign off.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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