I find the last couple months of winter the most difficult each year. I struggle with depression mostly during this time. I feel Iike I am just in quicksand sinking deeper and deeper away from everything around me. Everyone and everything is starting to irritate me as I continue to feel bad with no end in site. Tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere. Too worn out to care anymore. I think I am really angery about not being understood. Being underestimated and passed over. So yes, I ask the question...Why God am I here? What is it you want me here for? Have to sign off.
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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