When the rain trickles down slowly, the clickedy clack drums a soft relaxing rhythm. You feel the urge to curl up in a comfy chair and read a book. When the rain comes down heavy for hours, the pouring water starts to make you feel physically drained. You body feels heavy, and you might even feel a headache from all the mugginess. That has been these last months and I wasn't sure if I could put that into words so I stopped writing. I am physically drained and emotionally down. I am optimistic that the spring is indeed coming for real around that next bend. I had fun yesterday and a year ago around this same time I was actually worse, but a month earlier. This year was better just seemed to last longer. I am waiting for the sunshine. In the meantime, I am feelng a little better. I am surrounding myself with supportive people. God is good.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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