You ever try to walk through muddy grass. You try to walk around the water and find your feet sinking down in. I have been trying to get out of the "mud" of life, but keep sinking down into it. Feeling frustrated today I tried my best to cheer up only to be plugged back by my selfish teenager. Trying my best to be understanding while I listen to all the reasons why ignoring all responsibilities is okay because, "I have plenty of time." I had been annoyed earlier today with the people around me who continue to be oblivious to their excluding behavior. I can't continue to pretend it doesn't matter. The statement was made you go expecting someone to bless you. Sorry, but, No that isn't what I expect or even need. I just want to be included. If that can't happen here then, I can't continue to justify being here. Praying God will give me a different alternative because that just isn't working.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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