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The Sun Is Out

It has been a long winter, but truly the sun is finally out. I don't feel so hopeless anymore. It's warm enough to exercise outside. I have started to lose weight although the progress is slow. As for the other thing, I find that I just want to be in places where I can be myself. I will have to find alternative solutions to that particular group. I need to build my confidence not tear it down more. Constantly feeling like the next thing I say will be the cause of more abandonment and isolation. It's exsosting. Yes, I say awquard, odd things sometimes, but not to hurt anyone. I am so tired of feeling this way. I am hoping reading Hebrews will help strengthen my spiritual security mentally so to speak so that I can also improve the rest. I also wish it was okay to ask for support for these issues instead of chastisement. I am not sure I can pull out of it on my own. Trying to be bold and admit that's what's really in my head right now. No, I am not in crisis just wishing I could fix the lumps instead of just pounding them down.  How do I keep the ugliness I can't erase out of my head?

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