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The Fog Still Comes

Today I was fighting mood swings so I must be out of balance or something. Most females can identify with the cry for no reason issue. This last week was draining. Hopefully the next one will be better. It wasn't a bad week just physically and mentally exhausting. The bipolar part is that if I am really tired then I start to get a bit confused and forgetful. Still haven't figured out if that is medication or just sleepiness. Anyway, we'll call it brain fog. I actually feel a physical heaviness which could be sinuses. If you can take medicine for a headache, why can't you use medicine for emotional imbalances? Essential oils have been helpful because they work in a much milder form without all the side effects. I am reading my Bible right now, but to be perfectly candid, feel like a ball of led inside. I am choosing to ignore those feelings. I have found that often I can't change them, but I don't have to listen to them. My friend asked me, "Is God not all powerful." Of course He is, but I do not believe He always chooses to remove stuff from our lives. He simply walks us through it. Sometimes, I have a good attitude about that and sometimes I don't. I ask Him why I am still here. I ask Him what on earth He wants me to do. Yes, I do. And I thank Him for loving me anyway. And for seeing things even I can't understand. So much of life is beyond my understanding. That's okay. I don't expect my sceptic friends to ever get it. Everyone struggles with something.

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