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Showing posts from February, 2018

Home Away From Home

Few of my friends understand life as a away from home person. I went away to college and fell for a boy from another state. I knew that most likely meant moving away forever. Strangely to most I was fine with that. I knew it was right. That didn’t make it easy. I moved to a place where I had no friends or family. I cried for months homesick and lonely. I finally started to connect and make friends and we had my in laws for family support. Then we moved again to a place with even less family. Although we did eventually connect and make friends, no family is sometimes hard. We don’t have the support here that most of our friends take for granted. You make the best of it and do what you can. It is hard to explain why I wanted this life. My parents have been divorced for more than 25 years now. When I lived home, I was expected to mediate their ridiculous disputes. My brothers who never talk to each other also some how our me in the middle of things. I felt it was my job to constantly fix ...

Fearing

“And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Sometimes it feels like I am on one of those electric walk ways they have at airports. I am just being dragged along as life whooshes by. It is all happening so fast and I am very aware that the unknown future is coming. I doubt everything, but in my heart always go back to Jesus. He is my only absolute. That God IS and did send Jesus for me. Yes, I can believe that. That he forgave everything I ever did and will not condemn me, I have to say, Yes,,, God said it so it IS so. Still scary to face a Holy, Perfect God. But if he promises deliverce from that then I guess I have to figure that one out. It is not easy to say that here, but I need to do that I can admit the struggle. Fear has always been my biggest. I hear little tap taps at night and think someone is coming in. I am jumpy I think because I have sensory issues. Anyway, too tired to finish. I am praying God gives me the answers I need to kn...