“And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Sometimes it feels like I am on one of those electric walk ways they have at airports. I am just being dragged along as life whooshes by. It is all happening so fast and I am very aware that the unknown future is coming. I doubt everything, but in my heart always go back to Jesus. He is my only absolute. That God IS and did send Jesus for me. Yes, I can believe that. That he forgave everything I ever did and will not condemn me, I have to say, Yes,,, God said it so it IS so. Still scary to face a Holy, Perfect God. But if he promises deliverce from that then I guess I have to figure that one out. It is not easy to say that here, but I need to do that I can admit the struggle. Fear has always been my biggest. I hear little tap taps at night and think someone is coming in. I am jumpy I think because I have sensory issues. Anyway, too tired to finish. I am praying God gives me the answers I need to know that He is nothing to fear.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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