“And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Sometimes it feels like I am on one of those electric walk ways they have at airports. I am just being dragged along as life whooshes by. It is all happening so fast and I am very aware that the unknown future is coming. I doubt everything, but in my heart always go back to Jesus. He is my only absolute. That God IS and did send Jesus for me. Yes, I can believe that. That he forgave everything I ever did and will not condemn me, I have to say, Yes,,, God said it so it IS so. Still scary to face a Holy, Perfect God. But if he promises deliverce from that then I guess I have to figure that one out. It is not easy to say that here, but I need to do that I can admit the struggle. Fear has always been my biggest. I hear little tap taps at night and think someone is coming in. I am jumpy I think because I have sensory issues. Anyway, too tired to finish. I am praying God gives me the answers I need to know that He is nothing to fear.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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