I think the upset is blown over for now. Although I know we cannot allow our feelings to turn us inside out, when you feel things more intensely; it is harder to ignore them. Again not an excuse just a fact. My husband tends to boil over easier than me. That doesn’t make him horrible or make that right. It makes him human just as my over active feelings do me. I have been praying about the other stuff and I guess the ripple of sweetness was teaching kids to read the Bible. How excited they were to see that they could read it themselves. Being surrounded by apathy so often, it was refreshing. I can’t talk to my friends about spiritual stuff. Tried it always ends with them feeling aquard and embarrassed. But wouldn’t we all be better off if we really were encouraging each other to pray and read our Bibles? I get to feeling like we are trapped in this pointless reality. Because if I don’t fill myself up with truth, my mind finds everything else.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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