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Girls Will Be Girls.

My hosting skills are limited that is an unrefruited fact. But my door is always open to a person in need and I would welcome anyone anytime. I am self conscious about my caotic housekeeping skills, but I do the best I can. I can’t beat myself up about my weaknesses. It is part of the bipolar that would not translate to someone who doesn’t understand. I just get overwhelmed and shut down. So I do a little bit and try to do a little bit more. Totally not what this post is supposed to be about. I had a gathering planned and no one came. I know it is the time of the year when we women are slow to commit our without kids time. Here’s the thing. I was cheered up by a sweet little girl. She came into our house and loved me in five minutes. Ladies I don’t need you. I have my couple of friends and am truly loved by children and elderly. God is good. I don’t need to be anything else. “I am enough.” As Clonda Pierce said. Isn’t that wonderful. I know people who don’t have patience for little people my own mother included. I can’t get enough of them. I don’t have to be open for target practice. I can live my life the way it is. Letting go of trying to be something I am not. Growing up I only ever had one girl friend. By high school, I was friends with only boys. Most were relatives it wasn’t that weird.
My mother and I didn’t get along at all by this time. My father had left us. Getting out with the boys was fun and drama less. I could have dated one, but I didn’t want to. My heart was so damaged from the one that abused me that I just couldn’t deal with that. Just friends mostly like brothers. Long before I ever got married. I thought I would want to have boys not girls. I never asked God for just boys; I think He just knew the desire of my heart and granted it. I feared if I had a daughter, I would make the same mistakes my mother did. I can’t say I haven’t made a ton load with the boys, but God is good. He made me. He made them. This IS HIS will. He will enable me. He does. Sorry I am entering a bit of a manic phase. My thoughts are all over the place right now. Blessings

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