I have had some weird happenings with people I don’t know and some I don’t know very well. It always is refreshing that strangers often treat me better than everyone else. My OB was having a bad day. I asked her why she wasn’t joking as usual. She said she had some tough news and a busy day. She said I brightened her day and thanked me for being so positive. I think I must have a doppelgänger out there. Seriously. It was really nice to make someone smile. As for the other it was just a bunch of bickering siblings. I don’t think any of them where being honest, but sometimes our own truth makes us blind to the “real” truth. Maybe that’s my problem too. It’s so much easier when people don’t know me. They actually listen and I don’t feel so in the way. I just know that God wants me to share His love. Have to keep doing that and stop listening to the ugly thoughts in my head.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
Comments
Post a Comment