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Not that bad

Has anything ever happened to you that you found particularly life changing. Good or bad sometimes other people thinking it is not really that big of a deal can be really frustrating. I realized that no one could quantify my pain by their own gage. My own trauma was very real to me. To be young and all of a sudden have your innocence stomped on; to end childhood too soon. Too vague? That’s on purpose because my experience really might be no big deal to you. One of my classmates lost his mother to cancer when he was only fourteen or fifteen I think. That WAS a big deal. My father left us when I was fourteen and that was a big deal. Yet my first big deal moment came sooner. I was held down against my will. I wasn’t physically attached just terrified. He let me go then when on to torment me for months in various ways including exposing himself and trying to come after me several more times. But that wasn’t a big deal. Because I wasn’t physically hurt. I guess I went and got more specific. Yikes didn’t mean to do that. All that made me afraid of men. Maybe a good thing because my parents very uninvolved in my comings and going’s. My “all together for good” realization was that it kept me pure. It made me causous. I had to trust God to keep me safe and let’s face it, He did! I begged the boy to let me go and he did. God was there. I was okay. Even when we are terrified God is there.

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