Has anything ever happened to you that you found particularly life changing. Good or bad sometimes other people thinking it is not really that big of a deal can be really frustrating. I realized that no one could quantify my pain by their own gage. My own trauma was very real to me. To be young and all of a sudden have your innocence stomped on; to end childhood too soon. Too vague? That’s on purpose because my experience really might be no big deal to you. One of my classmates lost his mother to cancer when he was only fourteen or fifteen I think. That WAS a big deal. My father left us when I was fourteen and that was a big deal. Yet my first big deal moment came sooner. I was held down against my will. I wasn’t physically attached just terrified. He let me go then when on to torment me for months in various ways including exposing himself and trying to come after me several more times. But that wasn’t a big deal. Because I wasn’t physically hurt. I guess I went and got more specific. Yikes didn’t mean to do that. All that made me afraid of men. Maybe a good thing because my parents very uninvolved in my comings and going’s. My “all together for good” realization was that it kept me pure. It made me causous. I had to trust God to keep me safe and let’s face it, He did! I begged the boy to let me go and he did. God was there. I was okay. Even when we are terrified God is there.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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