For right now much of my life is on hold while things are still racing by. Four months of watching what I eat and down about nine pounds which is enough for some things to be too big and most things to be the same. I have been put on more medication which I am hoping doesn’t give me severe acid reflux as it did last year. It is increasingly clear to me how little it matters. I am trying something new to have a tiny bit of enjoyment. Singing in a gospel choir. These people are extremely open and enthusiastic about praising God and maybe that will be helpful. Cause I am surrounded by beaten down people who can’t quite reach the hope. Who have no idea what living as a bipolar person looks like. Not sure how much longer I can be in that pressure cooker. If nothing changes, it just isn’t worth it.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
Comments
Post a Comment