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On Hold

For right now much of my life is on hold while things are still racing by. Four months of watching what I eat and down about nine pounds which is enough for some things to be too big and most things to be the same. I have been put on more medication which I am hoping doesn’t give me severe acid reflux as it did last year. It is increasingly clear to me how little it matters. I am trying something new to have a tiny bit of enjoyment. Singing in a gospel choir. These people are extremely open and enthusiastic about praising God and maybe that will be helpful. Cause I am surrounded by beaten down people who can’t quite reach the hope. Who have no idea what living as a bipolar person looks like. Not sure how much longer I can be in that pressure cooker. If nothing changes, it just isn’t worth it.

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