Truly depression is like being trapped under something heavy. While I am doing everything I can to stay in the light, it still is a constant struggle. Trying some new things in hopes that they will be good for me. Maybe recovering from my mild concussion had something to do with it. It certainly offered up a mighty slam to the ground in more ways than one. I have been exercising and watching what I eat consistently. Still losing weight and starting to need new clothes. Right now I haven’t lost enough to be down a whole size. About half a size and most of my pants are loose. The ones that were tight just fit better. That should be good news, but it will be awhile before I look any different. I don’t care about being skinny. I just want to be healthy and the exercise helps with that. It is also a lot easier to find clothes to wear the smaller you are. I still want to get the house better, but I cannot do it without help so waiting on my guys to care enough to please get the box that’s been in the living room for six months and take it to be donated. You want to know how to live in absolute chaos? Get a scatter brained messy lady to marry a procrastinator. That’s my life. And yes, I should be okay. But I want it to be cleaned up. I want my brain to be less frustrating. I had been running wild for a bit so I guess it’s crash and sad time. But I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want a giant weight on top of me when I woke up to verses in my head for the first time in a long time. God heard me. He is listening. So if you are to, pray for me my friends. Get off you backside and please move the box, husband(:.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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