Skip to main content

Beneath the leaf pile

Truly depression is like being trapped under something heavy. While I am doing everything I can to stay in the light, it still is a constant struggle. Trying some new things in hopes that they will be good for me. Maybe recovering from my mild concussion had something to do with it. It certainly offered up a mighty slam to the ground in more ways than one. I have been exercising and watching what I eat consistently. Still losing weight and starting to need new clothes. Right now I haven’t lost enough to be down a whole size. About half a size and most of my pants are loose. The ones that were tight just fit better. That should be good news, but it will be awhile before I look any different. I don’t care about being skinny. I just want to be healthy and the exercise helps with that. It is also a lot easier to find clothes to wear the smaller you are. I still want to get the house better, but I cannot do it without help so waiting on my guys to care enough to please get the box that’s been in the living room for six months and take it to be donated. You want to know how to live in absolute chaos? Get a scatter brained messy lady to marry a procrastinator. That’s my life. And yes, I should be okay. But I want it to be cleaned up. I want my brain to be less frustrating. I had been running wild for a bit so I guess it’s crash and sad time. But I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want a giant weight on top of me when I woke up to verses in my head for the first time in a long time. God heard me. He is listening. So if you are to, pray for me my friends. Get off you backside and please move the box, husband(:.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Little Shower

 I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Threw Out the Moon

  My son made a paper mâché replica of the moon when he was younger. Being the consistent pack rat that I am it was still here in our living room. I am trying to clean everything up and believe or not, throw out the stuff we don’t need. Do you find it hard to throw away stuff you don’t need, remove things you shouldn’t have, or give up things you need to? It is different for everyone, but we can probably all relate to that in some small way. If you’re wondering how I got here you’d have to go way back. Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends. It was my toys and me. My imagination gave them personalities. Could it be that I don’t need that stuff anymore? Could it be that I have real live people who are right here and worth much more! It won’t be easy, but I am willing to do the work. I will trash the unwanted books if I have to. I don’t expect people to understand, but maybe hold back the judgment. Cause like I said before, everyone struggles with something. Maybe it’s giving...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Pitter Patter of Tiny Feet

As an older parent whose children are no longer small, I enjoy loving others babies and toddlers. I do often wonder why I cannot impart any of the wisdom passed down to me by even more seasoned parents. I find the mothers are frazzled even exasted and any advise offered will only cause discouragement. It is sad though cause I really benefitted from those wise words. Like every Mom, I wanted to do the best for my children. I wanted them to learn right from wrong, I wanted them to understand their wrong was the very  sin that Jesus gave his life for, and lead them to the conclusion that this comes from so much love from Jesus and me. To love your children enough to hurt them for a moment, so that they will be safe for a long time is so important. To love them enough to have them dislike you for a while so that they will learn how to treat others for a lifetime is also vital. Yet sadly, I see more and more frazzled mothers who cannot understand that. You know I would have been that wa...
Post a Comment
Read more