Truly depression is like being trapped under something heavy. While I am doing everything I can to stay in the light, it still is a constant struggle. Trying some new things in hopes that they will be good for me. Maybe recovering from my mild concussion had something to do with it. It certainly offered up a mighty slam to the ground in more ways than one. I have been exercising and watching what I eat consistently. Still losing weight and starting to need new clothes. Right now I haven’t lost enough to be down a whole size. About half a size and most of my pants are loose. The ones that were tight just fit better. That should be good news, but it will be awhile before I look any different. I don’t care about being skinny. I just want to be healthy and the exercise helps with that. It is also a lot easier to find clothes to wear the smaller you are. I still want to get the house better, but I cannot do it without help so waiting on my guys to care enough to please get the box that’s been in the living room for six months and take it to be donated. You want to know how to live in absolute chaos? Get a scatter brained messy lady to marry a procrastinator. That’s my life. And yes, I should be okay. But I want it to be cleaned up. I want my brain to be less frustrating. I had been running wild for a bit so I guess it’s crash and sad time. But I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want a giant weight on top of me when I woke up to verses in my head for the first time in a long time. God heard me. He is listening. So if you are to, pray for me my friends. Get off you backside and please move the box, husband(:.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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