Skip to main content

Ruby a very bright encouragement

I've been looking for this bear that hubby gave me for a while. She was buried in my son's closet of all things. Right before I went to the hospital I had been flooded with memories. Most of them not good. I remembered that I was often dressed in pink. My bedroom was pink walls and rose carpet. My bedspread was pink roses. The end tables had pink table cloths. It isn't so much that I "hate" pink although that's how it felt at the time. I just realized over time that I like all kinds of color. Not a whole bunch of just one. That if I had to nail down one favorite color it wouldn't be pale pink. BUT I don't mind it now in small doses mixed with other stuff. My mother didn't like red so she got me pink instead Her-favorite. It was the realization that I went almost 25 years letting everyone else make all my decisions. If I tried to choose my own it would have caused conflict. We fought about everything as it was so I had to just let it go. Wear the skirt I thought was ugly. I wore it for dress like an old lady day yet my mother thought I liked it. Passive aggression will get you no where, but miserable. Trust me on that. Find a way to live with it or deal with it head on. Now, I pick clothes that I like period. Some people like them and some don't, and that really is okay. Hubby doesn't really give a lot of complements and frankly that's always been okay. Because when he does he really means it. He knew I was hurting and just wanted to encourage me. A bright red bear might seem really silly to you, but it represents a whole lot of love. Because most people would have walked away and never spoke to me again after that,and some did. But not my sweet hubby. I might need the reminder now that we're getting old and tired. You come home and just want to crash and sleep. Nothing left to give. But somewhere in there is the same person you love. Still loving you in spite of everything. Don't give up on each other. Yes, things hit us and shake us we aren't expecting. Yes, things happen we weren't planning on. Yes, we have to step back to see that he is still there. Maybe we have to work just a bit harder.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions

I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
3 comments
Read more

Shutting off the Pleasing

 I am trying to stop the people pleasing. Doing for others is wonderful when it’s healthy, but I now recognize there’s a line I shouldn’t cross. Problem is that I don’t always see the line. I asked for something today and yes, I felt guilty. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty. Ug! This weekend I saw my limit come and go so I did walk away from some responsibilities I was unable to do. It felt good to be strong enough to do that and two days later I am a wimp again. Regardless, it’s on me to be honest not on my friends and family to guess. So trying and sometimes failing. I am thankful that God is still working. I realized that although it’s small, I have changed. All that to say, don’t give up on people too quickly. 
Post a Comment
Read more

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days? You know when your so tired that you drop everything and go to bed without brushing your teeth or anything. I did. I was exhausted after going upstairs to act ridiculous. My family barely reacts anymore at my antics because they are so used to them, but this one did get quite a reaction. It turns out we have a Darth Vader Costume which I bought at a yard sale (a while ago for Jonathan) that fits me. I tried it on with my son's Darth Vader helmet and that was a site. John laughed and the boys just kept pointing and smiling at me. So that one was so worth it although it was like trying to breath inside a dusty plastic bowl. I was already sleepy when I did the costume thing. I hung the thing up, took one look and my bed and got in. I decided after about ten minutes to put on PJs. Then I closed my eyes and went to sleep. It couldn't have been more than 8:30. I had planned on going back downstairs so that lights were still on, and the beans I co
2 comments
Read more