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Ruby a very bright encouragement

I've been looking for this bear that hubby gave me for a while. She was buried in my son's closet of all things. Right before I went to the hospital I had been flooded with memories. Most of them not good. I remembered that I was often dressed in pink. My bedroom was pink walls and rose carpet. My bedspread was pink roses. The end tables had pink table cloths. It isn't so much that I "hate" pink although that's how it felt at the time. I just realized over time that I like all kinds of color. Not a whole bunch of just one. That if I had to nail down one favorite color it wouldn't be pale pink. BUT I don't mind it now in small doses mixed with other stuff. My mother didn't like red so she got me pink instead Her-favorite. It was the realization that I went almost 25 years letting everyone else make all my decisions. If I tried to choose my own it would have caused conflict. We fought about everything as it was so I had to just let it go. Wear the skirt I thought was ugly. I wore it for dress like an old lady day yet my mother thought I liked it. Passive aggression will get you no where, but miserable. Trust me on that. Find a way to live with it or deal with it head on. Now, I pick clothes that I like period. Some people like them and some don't, and that really is okay. Hubby doesn't really give a lot of complements and frankly that's always been okay. Because when he does he really means it. He knew I was hurting and just wanted to encourage me. A bright red bear might seem really silly to you, but it represents a whole lot of love. Because most people would have walked away and never spoke to me again after that,and some did. But not my sweet hubby. I might need the reminder now that we're getting old and tired. You come home and just want to crash and sleep. Nothing left to give. But somewhere in there is the same person you love. Still loving you in spite of everything. Don't give up on each other. Yes, things hit us and shake us we aren't expecting. Yes, things happen we weren't planning on. Yes, we have to step back to see that he is still there. Maybe we have to work just a bit harder.

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