I haven’t written in a while so here goes. I am experiencing life like a drippy faucet. I get up and wait for it to end and start all over again. I knew today was one of those days I should have gone outside, but there’s no place to go. And the house is still a mess and I really do want it to be getting increasingly better. There’s no one to say hey I am feeling especially negative today. Cause let’s be honest; no one wants to hear that. The fact is that my disease means feeling bad for no good reason. Getting up anyway and waiting for the wave to pass. So for my friends who like me can’t be honest about their struggles, it’s okay. We’re human and sometimes just don’t feel good. I did accomplish something today. I thought I am disappointed I didn’t do more and yes I wish someone could say it’s enough. Because I am never going to be perfect this side of eternity. Okay that’s the lot. Going to take a hot shower and try to leave the house.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
Comments
Post a Comment