Growing up in old fashioned church, you are taught not to think of yourself. Self image is a made up excuse of the world to be selfish so the old church says. Is it really that simple? Cause it seems to me if a person is torn apart verbally by all the people around them that the long term emotional effect will be very damaging. And then go to church and be reminded how worthless you are there too. That philosophy is missing some pieces. God wouldn’t have sacrificed Jesus for a useless pile of humans. No, He loved us. He loved us first not once we were cleansed. Doesn’t that say we have value in His eyes? Doesn’t that say we matter? I think it does and the Bible has verses that support that. Turning off the voices of ugliness can take years. We shouldn’t be those voices for people too. Because God showed His love to us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8) I recently heard someone broken by the sins of her grandchild. She thought that pain was some kind of punishment or rejection from God. But it isn’t. It can certainly feel that way to us when we are going through something we don’t understand. All this to say, I am only struggling to believe that God DOES love so therefore I can accept the person He made me to be without regret. The words I gave my friend are words I heard another survivor of childhood abuse say. “You are enough.”
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
Comments
Post a Comment