Skip to main content

Selfish or Loved

Growing up in old fashioned church, you are taught not to think of yourself. Self image is a made up excuse of the world to be selfish so the old church says. Is it really that simple? Cause it seems to me if a person is torn apart verbally by all the people around them that the long term emotional effect will be very damaging. And then go to church and be reminded how worthless you are there too. That philosophy is missing some pieces. God wouldn’t have sacrificed Jesus for a useless pile of humans. No, He loved us. He loved us first not once we were cleansed. Doesn’t that say we have value in His eyes? Doesn’t that say we matter? I think it does and the Bible has verses that support that. Turning off the voices of ugliness can take years. We shouldn’t be those voices for people too. Because God showed His love to us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8) I recently heard someone broken by the sins of her grandchild. She thought that pain was some kind of punishment or rejection from God. But it isn’t. It can certainly feel that way to us when we are going through something we don’t understand. All this to say, I am only struggling to believe that God DOES love so therefore I can accept the person He made me to be without regret. The words I gave my friend are words I heard another survivor of childhood abuse say. “You are enough.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Time to Get Healthy

 Have you ever settled for just fine? Have you ever found yourself in pain every day and been told this is just normal for your age? After just not feeling good for a long time, I realized I was gaining weight again rapidly. I found this webinar about low thyroid and weight loss. I thought what’s the harm? I knew after that first session that I had found a solution. People have been telling me for years how they gave up sugar and felt amazing. I thought I just couldn’t do it. Now years later even before I started to watch I knew I have to give up sugar. Giving up gluten didn’t really help me because so much of the gluten free foods are loaded with sugar. Anyway, if you see me eating a chocolate bar, send help 🤣. I really want to wake up in the morning ready to start a day. Like that feeling on Christmas morning when you just can’t wait to get out of bed. What would it be like to feel like that every day? My pain is less some days than others. Exercise helps. I am thankful my God l...

The Kid Perspective

As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...

The Dark Place

I hate it when my mind insists on going there. The Dark place that is. You know the recesses of your mind where all the ugly stuff is hiding. I spent years of my early life stuffing the bad stuff away somewhere and pretending it wasn't there. It would peak out of the drawers and I would slam them shut again. Now my mind is this place where someone dumped out all the files and they are mixed up all over the floor. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I never know which file is going to get opened up next. I can't hide anything cause it's too mixed up. Today the files were opening up too many bad memories and I ask myself what on earth is going on. I am trying to be positive because with my tendency to exaggerate it isn't as bad as it seems. It is harder to do that when you get dumped a stack of stinky papers. I tried reading my Bible and praying, but it is hard to see the comfort when the guilt bus is parked out front. I have some work to do. Hopefully, next time I can be mor...