Growing up in old fashioned church, you are taught not to think of yourself. Self image is a made up excuse of the world to be selfish so the old church says. Is it really that simple? Cause it seems to me if a person is torn apart verbally by all the people around them that the long term emotional effect will be very damaging. And then go to church and be reminded how worthless you are there too. That philosophy is missing some pieces. God wouldn’t have sacrificed Jesus for a useless pile of humans. No, He loved us. He loved us first not once we were cleansed. Doesn’t that say we have value in His eyes? Doesn’t that say we matter? I think it does and the Bible has verses that support that. Turning off the voices of ugliness can take years. We shouldn’t be those voices for people too. Because God showed His love to us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8) I recently heard someone broken by the sins of her grandchild. She thought that pain was some kind of punishment or rejection from God. But it isn’t. It can certainly feel that way to us when we are going through something we don’t understand. All this to say, I am only struggling to believe that God DOES love so therefore I can accept the person He made me to be without regret. The words I gave my friend are words I heard another survivor of childhood abuse say. “You are enough.”
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
Comments
Post a Comment