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Under a Rock

You can feel free to ignore my tittles if they confuse you. Have you felt the weight of burdens lately? So much is happening that it definitely feels like being stuck underneath something heavy. I lost a friend to cancer. My mother lost a friend to sudden infection. (Not CoVid) The sheer weight of all the things I am trying to pray for is overwhelming. I spend some time reading my Bible and all the verses were not only reminders that God is able, but that His way is perfect, and I should ask for what I need. I struggle with the why them? Why not me? Why am I still here? I’m not special? I haven’t even figured out how to have successful relationships with anyone that doesn’t HAVE to love me. So I guess maybe that’s why. He’s not finished yet. He still has things for me to do. I do feel His love and that has to be enough. I can’t become what someone else expects. I am focusing on listening to God and what He wants me to do. I am pulling away from harmful relationships. I am seeking guidance for next steps. My voice is damaged right now, but that’s okay. I am God’s vessel. He decides what happens with my instrument.

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