I wanted to say how blessed I am. I came alone the much younger of three kids and the only girl. Often, I played by myself. I was an aquard child, unaware of personal space. This made me the weird girl early on. Sure, in the beginning I fought it, but eventually embraced it. Even as an adult, I realize that my role out there is different. Because I was teased, I stand up for the picked on. Because I was often alone, I seek out the hidden hurting people. God made me tbis way on purpose. All I really asked him for was a home. Yes, God gave me that! Do you know who I tell all my secrets to? My husband is my best friend. We have friends, but truly are closer to each other than them. No perfection! He can't fix stuff and I can't clean. He gets explosively angry and I have serious issues with taking respondibility for my own actions. We work on it every day. Here's the thing I want you to see. Almost every day he is my favorite person. Almost every day we make each other laugh. THE DAYS WE STOP TRYING,STOP WORKING those are the bad days. I have had friends in very toxic relationships. That is dangerous and I would never encourage someone to stay the course in that situation or in any abusive situation. No, this is your run of the mill he forgot to take out the garbage again marriage. OR I left egg shells on the counter again. WHY? Because the little things add up. It's not about the stuff, it's the NOT talking. Be open. be honest, but don't forget to give them grace. Don't forget to consider your own part. I will be honest. It's hard. I get "home."
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
Comments
Post a Comment